6 gets you a big gold medal, but 5 gets you children who tell you all simultaneously that your new cute hairdo looks like an old lady haircut. 4 gets you continuous crumbs all over the floor. 3 gets you late nights of no sleep wondering where the hell they all are. 2 gets you sibling rivalry to deal with. 1 gets you sneered at that you're not doing enough as a mother.
I'm not fond of sarcasm, but I do like me some snark. Great article and thoughtful gift guide!
Absolutely, fair point on mentioning dad's role! the first step is getting people to acknowledge that care and parenting is valuable work that should be treated as such in the home and in society. Moms' experiences and perspectives are disproportionately represented, unfortunately I think that's because it's mostly women who are trying to make this point and fight for changes.. I would LOVE for more men to talk about care, and fight for paid leave, equal division of labor, as well as make their value and role in care work known! But given the inequity there, there is less incentive for them to do so. And I think it's men's responsibility to talk about it too, and not just expect recognition from the women who are talking and writing about care already.
I love many points in the 50/50 method, from what I've read so far. The Texas woman's story is infuriating. The stuff about moms wanting to maintain control is both true and also what has been created by patriarchy. Moms want control in large part because we know that we will deal with the societal and direct consequences of any parenting "failures". And it's understandably hard for moms to hand over their child when dad doesn't even know who the pediatrician is or where to check school communication (and on and on)... that should change, but I think this is where it stems from and the cycle is challenging for individual moms to break. I like Carrie's story at the end of the post, it's like the Fair Play for divorced couples!
6 gets you a big gold medal, but 5 gets you children who tell you all simultaneously that your new cute hairdo looks like an old lady haircut. 4 gets you continuous crumbs all over the floor. 3 gets you late nights of no sleep wondering where the hell they all are. 2 gets you sibling rivalry to deal with. 1 gets you sneered at that you're not doing enough as a mother.
I'm not fond of sarcasm, but I do like me some snark. Great article and thoughtful gift guide!
Spot on! And thank you 😊
Happy early Mother’s Day! Sometimes I worry that putting it all on mom without equal mention of the dad’s role strengthens the assumption of the mother as primary caregiver. Curious for your views on Emma’s 50/50 approach: https://www.momsforequalparenting.org/p/single-moms-forcing-dads-to-do-their
Absolutely, fair point on mentioning dad's role! the first step is getting people to acknowledge that care and parenting is valuable work that should be treated as such in the home and in society. Moms' experiences and perspectives are disproportionately represented, unfortunately I think that's because it's mostly women who are trying to make this point and fight for changes.. I would LOVE for more men to talk about care, and fight for paid leave, equal division of labor, as well as make their value and role in care work known! But given the inequity there, there is less incentive for them to do so. And I think it's men's responsibility to talk about it too, and not just expect recognition from the women who are talking and writing about care already.
I love many points in the 50/50 method, from what I've read so far. The Texas woman's story is infuriating. The stuff about moms wanting to maintain control is both true and also what has been created by patriarchy. Moms want control in large part because we know that we will deal with the societal and direct consequences of any parenting "failures". And it's understandably hard for moms to hand over their child when dad doesn't even know who the pediatrician is or where to check school communication (and on and on)... that should change, but I think this is where it stems from and the cycle is challenging for individual moms to break. I like Carrie's story at the end of the post, it's like the Fair Play for divorced couples!
Nailed it. As always— beautifully written, powerful, and lights me on fire!
Thanks friend 😘