Thank you for writing this, Anna. This week's Carers UK Report based on recent research reflects many of the points you've stated here too.
I glaze over when people, including doctors, say, 'you need to take care of yourself'🤮 Expletives, why do people think we don't know that!
There's also the productivity problem solver, or hero, characters who can't wait to offer unsolicited advice. 'Why don't you just do x or y' or 'it'll only take a few minutes if you go for a walk each day.' It's easy to identify the 'uninitiated'
I agree with your points that there needs to be changes, greater appreciation and awareness...I hope that neighbours and friends can build a stronger community with intergenerational support.
So much I want to say here, much of it we've shared before..and now I'm thinking I need to update my landing page main post.
Fun fact - both actors had just broken up with their then partners, perhaps adding to the heartbroken-ness of their scenes
I so relate to this Anna. Thank you for articulating what I’ve been on the cusp of thinking myself - that this requirement for self care can feel like another burden and when we don’t find a way to do it we feel guilty somehow. I for one do not see activities as the chief form of self care: it’s being strong with our boundaries in saying no to things but also with ourselves for not continuing to put others first (like the woman in Love Actually). All so hard.
But yes it’s about others caring for us - now there’s a radical idea! That is what we need. Including being proactive in organising or planning things. Even things like planning the annual family meet up - if I don’t do it doesn’t happen and yet I know how essential it is for our families and how everyone enjoys them.
I loved what you said about the lack of help with the high oversight of medical/financial issues and planning. That is a form of care that is often not recognised.
Thank you Anna. I’ll be writing about this in the near future and will be referencing this post!
Exactly - you get it! And yes, that would have been a good way to close the loop on the Love Actually anecdote - practicing self care for Sarah would first mean setting boundaries, not one hook up (or any other one thing). But in a real life situation like this - how could her workplace have been supportive? Why did no one ever ask her how she was doing or how they could help?
I loved your piece about being Fed Up and can relate. The graphic and photo you included were so good! I have definitely been there and I empathize.
Exactly Anna. We as a society need to start looking out for carers in a more proactive way. Of course it’ll look different here in the UK to the states but we need to start talking about this more, raising awareness. Your article kick starts this conversation brilliantly.
I have a very long list of how I prioritize my own care, but I don’t think I’m the demographic you’re targeting. 🙃
I am curious, though, what the aspirational version of Anna’s Best Life looks like. My impression is that when you’re not caring, you’re thinking about caring, or writing about caring, or advocating for more supportive caring possibilities. I would assume that if you had more time and/or money, you would consider adopting kids or volunteering in a caring capacity. I think that’s great and I’m not criticizing. I just wonder, for you, is the goal to make care easier so that you can do more caring? Or are there other things you’d like to be doing?
Thank you for writing this, Anna. This week's Carers UK Report based on recent research reflects many of the points you've stated here too.
I glaze over when people, including doctors, say, 'you need to take care of yourself'🤮 Expletives, why do people think we don't know that!
There's also the productivity problem solver, or hero, characters who can't wait to offer unsolicited advice. 'Why don't you just do x or y' or 'it'll only take a few minutes if you go for a walk each day.' It's easy to identify the 'uninitiated'
I agree with your points that there needs to be changes, greater appreciation and awareness...I hope that neighbours and friends can build a stronger community with intergenerational support.
So much I want to say here, much of it we've shared before..and now I'm thinking I need to update my landing page main post.
Fun fact - both actors had just broken up with their then partners, perhaps adding to the heartbroken-ness of their scenes
I so relate to this Anna. Thank you for articulating what I’ve been on the cusp of thinking myself - that this requirement for self care can feel like another burden and when we don’t find a way to do it we feel guilty somehow. I for one do not see activities as the chief form of self care: it’s being strong with our boundaries in saying no to things but also with ourselves for not continuing to put others first (like the woman in Love Actually). All so hard.
But yes it’s about others caring for us - now there’s a radical idea! That is what we need. Including being proactive in organising or planning things. Even things like planning the annual family meet up - if I don’t do it doesn’t happen and yet I know how essential it is for our families and how everyone enjoys them.
I loved what you said about the lack of help with the high oversight of medical/financial issues and planning. That is a form of care that is often not recognised.
Thank you Anna. I’ll be writing about this in the near future and will be referencing this post!
Exactly - you get it! And yes, that would have been a good way to close the loop on the Love Actually anecdote - practicing self care for Sarah would first mean setting boundaries, not one hook up (or any other one thing). But in a real life situation like this - how could her workplace have been supportive? Why did no one ever ask her how she was doing or how they could help?
I loved your piece about being Fed Up and can relate. The graphic and photo you included were so good! I have definitely been there and I empathize.
Exactly Anna. We as a society need to start looking out for carers in a more proactive way. Of course it’ll look different here in the UK to the states but we need to start talking about this more, raising awareness. Your article kick starts this conversation brilliantly.
I have a very long list of how I prioritize my own care, but I don’t think I’m the demographic you’re targeting. 🙃
I am curious, though, what the aspirational version of Anna’s Best Life looks like. My impression is that when you’re not caring, you’re thinking about caring, or writing about caring, or advocating for more supportive caring possibilities. I would assume that if you had more time and/or money, you would consider adopting kids or volunteering in a caring capacity. I think that’s great and I’m not criticizing. I just wonder, for you, is the goal to make care easier so that you can do more caring? Or are there other things you’d like to be doing?